New Dance Craze Infects Punchbowl Citizens

A kerfuffle at the Punchbowl Police station yesterday turned into a dance battle that left toes tapping and folks flying across punchbowl.


Police on the scene reported that T.S Master challenged a smelly green ruffian to a dance battle, declaring that he would “dance on [the stranger’s] grave.” This challenge ended in an explosive finish that sent the green stranger airborne.


Witnesses to the dance battle in the police station had mixed feelings about the ruffian’s dance moves. One deputy declared that the dance was “thrilling,” while others simply shambled rhythmically towards our reporter and shouted “BRAINS!”


Police Chief T.S. Master could not be reached for comment.


Are Your Teens Playing Backseat Bingo?

There’s a new epidemic plaguing parents across the nation and you can find patient zero at makeout point.  Local authorities are warning parents to stay vigilant, especially since there are reports of a strange man harassing local teens as they canoodle.