Pandemonium in Punchbowl, PA!
What started as a dance battle has turned into a harrowing and deadly siege on Punchbowl.
Punchbowl citizens have reported a string of attacks at several locations throughout the city, most notably the Fertile Crescent, the Punchbowl Mall, and a local farm.
The ringleader of the attacks is said to have green skin, a festering wound in his gut, and an ugly tie. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
Punchbowl citizens are advised to stay in their home whenever possible and report any suspicious behavior to the authorities.
The Punchbowl Style Report
Toss those trilbys and fedoras! Several prominent members of punchbowl society have been spotted wearing what some are predicting will be this season’s chicest chapeau: a rotting hand on the head.